Exploring the Caves of Clematis Street, West Palm Beach, Florida: Why You’re Bored

Exploring the caves of Clematis Street

Sitting there, talking to her, I knew I would leave with her number. She was beautiful. And I was consumed by both lust and poverty.

I was drunk from 2 PBR’s at the local progressive dance club that acted as a broken-elevator-with-better-music, girls using lit cigarettes like flashlights to guide their way through the sweaty mob, and all the guys, trying to be different in a display of displaced irony, even though they all dressed, essentially, the same–a uniform of a plaid button up collar shirt, long sleeves rolled up to the elbow to show off their tattoos, skinny jeans, facial hair and those flat black shoes.

I didn’t even know who this girl was, but I did know that I’m a good conversationalist, I’m handsome and have a nice body (girls and girlfriends have told me this), have no problem approaching beautiful girls, and didn’t really care if she gave me her number or not. The person who cares less is the winner.

I usually didn’t drink, which meant that I was a cheap drunk. 2 PBR’s in my belly turned me into an unstoppable charm machine. I was approaching girls left and right, and I didn’t care about the outcome, which made me all the more dangerous. The beer put a magnifying glass on my personality, turning me into George Clooney with the wit of Oscar Wilde.

The bottom line is that I didn’t care. My intention was to remind myself that people liked me. And they do.

While talking to her, I was qualifying her and making her laugh. Here’s how the conversation went:

Her: So what do you do?
Me: A lot of things.
Her: What’s your job?
Me: I’m a lion tamer.
Her: (laughing) No you’re not.
Me: but that’s only on the side. You?
Her: I work in retail. I’ve been working retail for 8 years.
Me: That’s a shame.
Her: (laughing) That’s not nice.
Me: I’m just being honest.
Her: But I have a dream, though, I want to …

I got her number and the numbers of a few other girls. Two days later, after washing my pants, which I usually do once very six months, I found the papers with numbers in the dryer, unreadable. Oh well. Their loss.

- – - – - – -

I’m going to connect the dots of the possibilities and change the world, change the course of history. When I’m through with it, they’re going to have to reset the compass and add another element to the periodic table.

- – - – - – -

On Facebook she sent a friend request, which I accepted. Immediately, she FB’ed chatted me asking why my status said I was in a relationship.

Her: Why does your FB status say you’re in a relationship?
Me: Because I am.
Her: With who?
Me: Cool girls. And my dreams.
Her: Sure. (adding a wink)
Me: I’m going to connect the dots of the possibilities and change the world, change the course of history. When I’m through with it, they’re going to have to reset the compass and add another element to the periodic table.
Her: What are you talking about?
Me: I have to go.

I wasn’t interested in being the plumber of pipe dreams for someone else, nor was I interested in explaining myself to someone who was happy working a job for years that had little meaning for her.

Florida. West Palm Beach. Waste Palm Beach.

Like seashells (that’s a horrible simile, isn’t it), so many washed up souls find their way to Florida expecting something to happen but they get stranded here like castaways, hoping to star in their own movie.

Well, I’m here to tell you something: There is no movie. You will not be in the next Pirates of the Caribbean. And Johnny Depp, because he’s smarter than you, lives in France.

Do you want to know why?

Do you want to know why … you get drunk so often? You smoke too many cigarettes? You drink too much coffee? You’ve been eating too much? You have sex with people you don’t care about? You’re addicted to donuts, those nutritional handcuffs that you pay for? Do you want to know why?

I’ll tell you why: Because you’re bored.

And you’re bored because you’re lazy.

Change your state. Change your emotional state, physical state, spiritual state, mental state.

Read. Learn a new language. Begin playing a musical instrument and practice, every day, for an hour. Do pushups. Go swimming, in the ocean, naked. Buy my ebook and get healthy. Drop the losers in your life. Leave America for a while. Take the bus. Learn how to buy real estate, and get checks in the mailbox, so that you can work from anywhere, like I do. Hop a train. Stand up for yourself, even if you have to get in a fight.

If you’re bored, it’s your fault because you’re a boring person.

If you’re a boring person, it’s time for you to do something.

Do something different = become someone different

Turn off the TV. Get off of Facebook. Quit talking about stupid stuff that doesn’t matter.

Start talking about stuff that does matter. Concepts. Ideas.

Eliminate the trivial. Look at the bigger picture.

Do something different and become someone different.

Push yourself. Forward. Never look back.